Distracted By Shiny Things & Butterflies

27. Female. Illinois. Occasionally NSFW.

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123jaclyn321:

zurashisu:

madman-in-a-blue-box-at-221b:

thediamondthatlived:

madman-in-a-blue-box-at-221b:

what do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?

I don’t know. What?

a condescending con descending.

get out

That was beautiful

(via pixiebutterandjelly)

saucymerbabe:

No one.

No one.

EVER has a right to touch you if you don’t want to be touched.

Not your husband. Not your fiance. Not your boyfriend. Not your partner. Not your friends. Not even your own family.

You are a person and your body is your own. And it’s a privilege if you allow someone to touch it.

A god damn privilege that can be snatched up and you don’t owe anyone a reason but that it’s your body and only YOUR body.

(Source: queenmerbabe, via womanistgamergirl)

lsdzeppelin:

i was taking pictures of the new puppy

image

when i look out the window to see the older dog just

image

(via lostdoughnut)

(Source: cesdiscco, via fuckyeah1990s)

homos3xuw3ll:

I crave stability and madness at the same time and that’s probably why I’m fucked up.

(via pinkmany)

whitebeltwriter:

dual-destininies:

derples:

dual-destininies:

tf2-fandomstuck:

tiniestshorts:

Bread knife

The french have grown more powerful. 

Hold it!

Look more closely at these photographs, Your Honor.

Notice anything strange about the bread?

I didn’t either. That’s because…

…no cuts were made there in the first place!

The witness forged the photographs to make it look like they had an actual bread knife, when they actually did not!

How, you ask? Look to the second photo.

While it is quite obvious that the knife is penetrating the top half of the breadstick, I’m not sure about the bottom half.

Looks pretty flat, doesn’t it?

The angle of the photo makes it look like the knife is in the witness’s breadstick, whilst it is actually behind it. In addition, the cut was actually made after the first photograph and before the second. Continue to the third photograph.

It is also taken from a flat angle, as was the second photograph. I’m sure you’re finding something missing in this photograph as well, Your Honor. Where is the index finger’s fingertip?

This illustration explains it all.

While I am… ahem, not the best artist…

(Didn’t I go to art school?)

The index finger is hidden behind the loaf of bread. It is not wrapping around the loaf of bread. This is because…

The witness was making space to put the knife’s handle!

Objection

Are you really that dull, Wright? For a man who majored in art you should be able to recognize a sculpture when you see one.

as we can see from the photos provided, this is quite obviously plastic.

if you look at any photo of real bread it can’t attain that level of shininess, and even if it could.

If you’ll notice in this picture, the bread on the inside is quite shiny, as well.

Tell me, Wright, have you ever seen real bread gleam that much? Don’t answer that, I will.

Even in this high-resolution photograph with bread that thick, it obviously wouldn’t shine on the inside when it isn’t buttered.

And it isn’t too hard to find the item in question with a quick google search.

Oh, and if you will notice, their hand was covering the seam where the bread was taken apart in the first photo with a simple comparison of the pattern on the bread.

It appears your lawyering skills are in much need of some sharpening if you expect to cut me down with that weak objection.

Edgeworth, you’re asking yourself the wrong question. It’s not “is there bread like that…”

You should be asking “can there be bread like that?”

Sweet bread can be infused with sugar or a syrup, making the outsides shinier- and the insides sweeter. Take a look.

Furthermore. there are parts of the witness’s bread knife that don’t just match up with the novelty bread knives you have presented. Take another look.

Let me point out two things about the novelty knives: one, their markings, and two, the placement of the knife itself.

In the novelty knives, the marks are artificial-looking and repeated. That is because they are manufactured. In the witness’s photo, the marks are more natural and realistic- because they are, well, real!

Furthermore, the blades on the novelty knives are in the middle of the handle.

But… look back at the witness’s photo. The knife is to the left? Where is the problem, you ask? Look at this illustration.

Here we have the knife, a piece of bread, and a table. Let’s have a go.

I’m sure you see it now, Your Honor.

The bread knife cannot actually be used to cut bread efficiently! Even if it was tilted, it would be uncomfortable and unbalanced!

The defense has an explanation for this positioning.

The blade is to the left because the witness was holding it behind the piece of bread!

(Source: tiniestcostume, via constellationsammy)

theweniswarmer:

It’s Time
A mix of classic, retro, and different Halloween Songs
This is Halloween - Nightmare Before Christmas Soundtrack
Monster Mash - Selebrities
Day of the Dead - Voltaire
Thriller - Michael Jackson
It’s Terror Time Again - Scooby Doo on Zombie Island
Brains! - Voltaire
Ghost Busters Theme - Ray Parker Jr.
Feed Me (Git it) - Little Shop of Horrors
Grim Grinning Ghosts - Disney’s Haunted Mansion
The Greatest Show Unearthed - Creature Feature
Time Warp - Rocky Horror Picture Show
Oogie Boogie - The Nightmare Before Christmas
Friends on the Other Side - Disney’s The Princess and The Frog
Worst Pies in London - Sweeney Tod
I Put a Spell on You - Hocus Pocus Soundtrack
Dinner with Drac - John “The Cool Ghoul” Zacherle
The Devil Went Down to Georgia - Charlie Daniels Band
Welcome to My Nightmare - Alice Cooper
The Headless Horseman - Disney’s Ichabod & Mr. Toad
Scary Monsters (and Super Creeps) - David Bowie
The Addam’s Family Song - The Addam’s Family Soundtrack
Witch Doctor - Peter Pan Records
Grave Robber at Large - Creature Feature
Spooky Scary Skeletons - TheLivingTombstone mix

LISTEN HERE (X)

theweniswarmer:

It’s Time

A mix of classic, retro, and different Halloween Songs

  1. This is Halloween - Nightmare Before Christmas Soundtrack
  2. Monster Mash - Selebrities
  3. Day of the Dead - Voltaire
  4. Thriller - Michael Jackson
  5. It’s Terror Time Again - Scooby Doo on Zombie Island
  6. Brains! - Voltaire
  7. Ghost Busters Theme - Ray Parker Jr.
  8. Feed Me (Git it) - Little Shop of Horrors
  9. Grim Grinning Ghosts - Disney’s Haunted Mansion
  10. The Greatest Show Unearthed - Creature Feature
  11. Time Warp - Rocky Horror Picture Show
  12. Oogie Boogie - The Nightmare Before Christmas
  13. Friends on the Other Side - Disney’s The Princess and The Frog
  14. Worst Pies in London - Sweeney Tod
  15. I Put a Spell on You - Hocus Pocus Soundtrack
  16. Dinner with Drac - John “The Cool Ghoul” Zacherle
  17. The Devil Went Down to Georgia - Charlie Daniels Band
  18. Welcome to My Nightmare - Alice Cooper
  19. The Headless Horseman - Disney’s Ichabod & Mr. Toad
  20. Scary Monsters (and Super Creeps) - David Bowie
  21. The Addam’s Family Song - The Addam’s Family Soundtrack
  22. Witch Doctor - Peter Pan Records
  23. Grave Robber at Large - Creature Feature
  24. Spooky Scary Skeletons - TheLivingTombstone mix

LISTEN HERE (X)

(via fuckingmulder)

jaclcfrost:

[gently rests hand on character’s cheek] i love you but you’re such an ass

(via bonesthatrattle)

banavalope:

im home

banavalope:

im home

(Source: isabellaharley, via invisiblelad)

holahydra:

holahydra:

I feel like this represents tumblr since the 1st of September

THE TIME HAS COME TO BRING THIS BACK

(via theplaid-wearingmoose)

kellinsbum:

so i walked into my brother’s room he was asleep and i knocked something over and he said “if you’re a ghost or some shit please fuck off im too tired for this”

(Source: paledreamers, via queenbtchfromhell)

supsquark:

if you have a great dane but it is a runt then it is a mediocre dane and you are contractually obliged to name it hamlet

(via achillesvevo)

deucebasket:

threw a boomerang like 6 years ago and it never came back so now I live in constant fear

(via heypalitsal)